In a land far far away, there resides my mind

My life is odd....

2006-05-17T04:15:17Z

No seriously...my life is odd. I just added my MOM to my myspace friend list. Not to mention the fact that my mom even HAS a myspace in the first place. I seriously am very confused right now.

An entry!

2006-02-02T04:03:32Z

Too bad its just boring lyrics.

Lost Realist - Trapt

My independence is calling my name
A doubtful voice divides my faith
My independence only hesitates
An unsure choice I can't embrace

You're going to have to carve me from stone
Right to the bone or I'll end up alone
Playing the role of someone in control
Why do I rush to slow down?
Why do I rush to slow down everything?
Will the dice ever roll, will I ever know?
Will the plot ever twist or will I still resist?
I'm playing the part of a lost realist

My independence is turning the page
Tomorrow comes we start to fade
My independence only complicates
It's not enough to meet halfway

You're going to have to carve me from stone
Right to the bone or I'll end up alone
Playing the role of someone in control
I only keep what I can't give away

Blue Man Group

2005-09-11T18:22:15Z

What a wonderful weekend! Ok...so I got off work early on Friday so Zach and I could leave for his surprise. Once we got on I-40 and he saw the signs that say Los Angeles, he kept asking if we were going to California and started guessing things we might be doing there. He never even thought of Vegas as a possibility until we got close to Kingman and there were Las Vegas signs. So once we got onto the 93, he pretty much figured out we were going to Vegas. Still didn't know what we were doing there though. As we got into the city, his mouth gaped open and he stuttered a bit about knowing and then asked if we were going to see Blue Man Group. (I told him yes, because I agreed to tell him what we were doing if he guessed once we got to the city). So from then on he was just like an excited kid in a toy store/theme park. He didn't stop bouncing for a while. =P Priceless.

The show was just freakin awesome. It was hilarious, awe-inspiring, and thirteen shades of cool-ness. I expected them to mostly be playing music, but they did sort of skit type things too, or breaks. They included a couple audience members in things. I wish I could just take the memory from my head and put it here, because I can't describe it all. They gave us all free paper to "decorate ourselves" with before the show started. They had a really funny introduction. The show itself had us laughing so hard we were nearly crying. I never knew no expression could show so much expression. What was really fun was when they released these rolls upon rolls of paper in the back and everyone pulled it forward creating this sea of paper. Ah, it was just so unique, and so great. We were both in such a state of euphoria afterward.

Anyway, let's just say its going to be a hard gift for me to top on other anniversaries.

We got a couple of really good burgers at a restaurant my mom's taken me to a few times. On Saturday, we layed around watching movies at my mom's place for a while and were just lazy bums, and then we finally got dressed and left. We went to the Stratosphere in hopes of riding a ride or two, but it was just a wee bit more than I cared to spend. So we decided to spend it on 2 hour cards at gameworks. And before going home, we ate at a buffet in one of the casinos. We had a really great weekend, one of the best either of us has had in a long time.

Lalala...boredom

2005-08-24T03:54:32Z

Harumph...bored. As usual. I suppose I should enjoy it sicne I start school Monday and will no longer have homework free evenings. You know...I like college. I don't mind going to class and in some ways even enjoy it. Its the homework I can't stand. And for the most part...I think I'll like most of my classes. No math or science! I've got Photo (color, eek!), Journalism (supposedly hard, but I can do it), Vis Com (computer graphic stuff that I probably learned in Design Tech in high school), Sociology of the Family (to fulfill a lib studies requirement), and Com 200.

You know...I really don't understand the whole numbering system of classes. There's COM 101 and then suddenly it jumps to COM 200. What happened to 102-199? And sometimes the starting class starts as say SC 111, or PHO 281. WHY?! Grr. Just make it easy: COM 1, COM 2, COM 3 etc. But I guess that doesn't sound all sophistimacated-like. Blah.

Sears never called me back. I'm hoping he meant he'd call me by the end of NEXT week (which would be this week). And my purply sock doctor never called back. (Had another fun UTI). Oh well...I didn't like him either. I like my crazy doctor at the other place that reminds me of my aunt.

Yay! Lucky Charms. Grr to the photo lab at walmart! I only wanted the picture CD for one of my rolls. Although, the mystery roll I developed (the one I didn't want the CD for) turned out to have better pics on it. Mystery rolls are fun.

I am so glad I won't be up here this weekend when all the students are moving into the dorms. Its going to be so insane and there will be parties everywhere. Bleh.

Hehe...Zach keeps calling me his sugamamma since I make more money than he does. He told me a while back that I have to publish my book and be his sugammamma. =P

I still need to have Zach scan the pics of Zeus so I can post them.

Let's see...what else can I talk about...

Oh yes! Zach's surprise. I have made arrangements and finally have a date for the event. (I'm surprising him with a special gift I've been saving up for for our 2 year, which isn't til October, but he's getting it in September because its has to happen in September. I'll explain after the surprise).

I feel old. In a couple months, I technically won't be a teenager anymore. And yet...even though I'm already considered a lawful adult, I can't take the kids I baby-sit to the pool at the athletic center because I have to be 21 to be responsible enough to be their guardian. *rolls eyes*

Ok...I think my not-so-daily ramblings are complete for now.

Hmm...

2005-08-16T01:20:11Z

My foot is vibrating. Is that bad?

The Mighty Zeus Has Fallen

2005-08-11T06:06:06Z

R.I.P. Zeus.
With us February 18 2005 - August 7 2005

Yes, Zeus has died. [:(]

He was a tricky one, from the day I caught him at work. A former attempt to escape cost him the loss of his eye. And unfortunately, his talents of escaping has now cost him his life. After breaking free of his cage, he was attacked by one of the cats (we've figured out the culprit) and killed. I was unable to say my final respects to the much beloved and crazy Zeus, but Zach has given him a nice burial near his birthplace. May he rest in peace.

Fortunately, I took a few pictures of our recently deceased before leaving for vacation and I will post them once they are developed and scanned.

Oh the tortuous devil that is love...

2005-08-07T07:33:39Z

Argh! I'm dying! Ok, not really of course, but I haven't talked to Zach in 3 days now!!!! I know that doesn't seem like much, but its killing me! I miss him so much that I'm nearly tearful with missing him. If I can hardly stand not seeing him for 2 weeks and not talking to him for 3, how the hell am I going to deal with his absence when he joins the military. What do you think they'd do if I stole away and hid in his bags? *sigh* My heart hurts. But in a very good way. The best of ways.

When did I become so clingy? I didn't used to care this much. And here I thought I'd become more hardened. I'm an emotional sap of many sorts. I cry so much more easily. What happened to the days when movies did not make me cry and only the really profound ones gave me goosebumps? I'm becoming such a woman. I'm turning into my mom. Good-bye teenager.

Shame!!!!

2005-08-03T05:09:22Z

I've been neglectful. *bows head in shame*

I've moved on to myspace. http://www.myspace.com/deadrubberduck

Muahaha

2005-05-21T06:56:26Z

I kick ass.

I was supposed to have a C in com, but according to my posted grades, I have a B. The profesor must have bumped me up since I had a high C.

I thought I might get a C in art, since I was missing a couple things, but that too, turned out to be a B.

I also thought I'd have a C in public speaking, since that seemed to be my teacher's favorite grade for my speeches and projects. But that also turned out to be a B.

I never turned in my take home mid-term for photo, yet wound up with an A.

So I was expecting at worst, 3 C's and 2 B's.

I ended up with 3 B's and 2 A's. Hell yes.

You'll have to excuse me. I've hit that tired-hyper spot. And I'm excited because I really wanted to bring my GPA up from last semester and I did. 2.9 to a 3.4, totalling for a 3.2 for my first year.

shit shit shit

2005-05-20T09:13:12Z

Ok, freaking out. Zach gets off work at 1, and its now 2. And he usually gets out a bit early. I drove to see if his car had died on him in the parking lot on his way home, but it wasn't there. I checked some of the parking lots of places that stay open late where he might have stopped for food. No car. So of course I'm freaking out, as I always do when a person I love is not home when they should be. And Zach's not like my mom where'd he'd end up partying somewhere all night or spend the night somewhere instead of trying to drive home drunk. God, I have such a fear of people I love dying in car accidents.

Oh phew. He just NOW texted me to tell me he's sucking up to the boss and staying late (probably to help with inventory). Argh. Why is it that only now after I know he's ok am I crying?

Eep!

2005-05-11T03:32:07Z

Eep! I was just in a car accident a little bit ago! Nothing serious, just a minor rear-ending with no damage to me or the car. I was sitting at a stoplight and didn't realize the light had turned green, and the guy who was coming up behind me didn't realize I wasn't going with the green. So he rear-ended me. Of course, I jumped out of the car to make sure my bumper was still there. No damage at all. The guy was asking if I was alright (which I was, just a little shaken up). We didn't need to exchange insurance or anything because there wasn't a scratch on me or the bumper. But man, even the tiny little accidents get you shaken up!

Not done blabbering

2005-05-10T22:38:01Z

Ok, I'm not done blabbering for today. I am bored and wish to write more, even though I should be doing my final art project or take-home final for photo.

Woot! Planning the girls trip, hopefully to Magic Mountain. We all gotta get together and work out all the details and what not. Yipee skipee.

That reminds me of Good Burger. I should watch that movie. Hehe.

I ended up getting my tires rotated and oil changed for FREE! Their computers were down so he said it was on the house. Made my day (on Friday).

I was supposed to meet up last night with Mary (former co-worker from Rockhouse) to study for our com final. I thought she had said 7, but apparently, as I realized today, it was 7:30. But it didn't matter, because she actually didn't go because she was sick. I was pretty bummed though, I was looking forward to the social interaction.

Went to Vegas over the weekend to visit my mom for Mother's Day. I also drove another girl from my school who had gotten my number off the ride board. She's not someone I would normally get along with all that well, but it was nice to have someone to talk to. While taking the final today for com, I discovered she's actually in my class. Haha. I guess that's what happens when you have classes with 100 people in them.

Lalala. I'm bored. As a result of my boredom, I began looking up old elementary school buddies on facebook. What a kick. I found a few. Hehehe.

I am dying of loneliness up here!!!! ARGH! Especially with Zach working all the time now. I hate being on opposite schedules! I get off work at 5 and he starts at 5! So I hardly ever see him anymore, and when we have been home at the same time, one of us is doing something for finals. I'm actually kind of sad that classes are ending because now I will have NO social interaction with other humans most of the time. Except children. I really hope Shelly is staying here this summer. I will beg her to be my friend. Otherwise I will have to go down to Chandler every weekend to salvage my sanity.

The Bookstore

2005-05-10T22:26:01Z

I have decided that the bookstore can go burn in hell. College campuses are such a rip off. Its like Disneyland, where they jack up the prices on food because you've got no other option but to leave the park. So the bookstore and student union prey on the little froshies that don't have cars and are stuck on campus. They charge like $3 for a small bag of Goldfish! Anyway, I went to go sell some books back. Of four I brought in (well, one was a coursepack thing), they wanted to take one. And they wanted to give me $5 for it. 5 bucks! I bought the book brand new for at least $60 and used it once. Fuckers.

So yea, then I took the four to a used textbook store's booth just north of campus where they were buying back books. They took 2 of them and gave me $31, plus $5 I won off this scratch card thingy. So whoo hoo. Fuck you NAU bookstore and your cheap ways.

I have no clue what I'm going to do with my English book. Its not a typical one that lots of colleges would use. Maybe I can pawn it off on a freshman next year. Along with the coursepack for com. But with my luck, they'll use a different book for ENG 105 next year and I'll be SOL, cuz the bookstore is sneaky like that. They did that with my photo book from last semester.

And the school complains about not having enough funds. *rolls eyes*

Cough

2005-05-06T16:35:55Z

Argh. I woke up in a horrible coughing fit. That was fun. The pills the doctor gave me aren't doing a whole lot. They help a little bit, but not completely. And I think I'm building an immunity to them, because they're less effective now that I've taken several doses. I could have sworn the doctor said they'd either completely eliminate the cough or do nothing. I guess I'm a freak of nature? Anyway, I think I maye be calling my doctor and asking if I should get that X-ray ordered. Bleh.

Off to Vegas this weekend for mother's day. My mom's having one of her "parties" while I'm there. For those of you who don't know, my mom sells sex toys, tupperware party style.

Started the new job. Only worked a couple hours. There was a mishap on the whole payment thing. When discussing paying me, she asked, "We were thinking about $6, is that good?". My mouth would have dropped if I weren't being polite. I told her that her ad had said 8-10. She seemed confused and said they had put $5.50-6. So I settled with her and agreed to $7, under the table so no taxes are taken out.She said if I really liked the job and they really liked me, she'd bump me up to $8. It just kinda pissed me off because these people can obviously afford it.

Alright. I suppose I should get dressed. I need to get my tires rotated before the trip. And I want to call the doctor before work.

blah

2005-05-06T05:14:07Z

I lead such a sad existence. Its Thursday night, I don't have my early class tomorrow and don't have to work until 12:30, and what am I doing? Mounting photographs and sitting at my computer. Damnit, I need some friggin friends here. And now I feel like I have failed that mission because school is practically over and I have yet to actually do something with someone. Although, I have gotten coffee with Shelly and I'm studying for a final with Mary on Monday. But big whoop. That's hardly a social life.

I am soooo lonely now, especially with Zach working til 1 in the morning every night (almost). It sucks. It just sucks. I was kinda mad at myself earlier for not talking more in English. There were a few people in that class I think I really could have gotten along with. But alas, I am social recluse. Bah.

I don't hate myself. I really love myself. But there are certain things about myself that I really don't like.

.

2005-05-02T14:09:21Z

All is right in the world. Zach has managed to retrieve my essay. =)

I'm gunna go die now

2005-05-02T06:43:44Z

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
*screams*
I just accidentally clicked out of my essay without saving it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
And I was almost finished with it too. I had 7 pages, as opposed to the 3 1/2 I had before.

The mother fucking piece of shit never even asked me if I wanted to quit without saving.

I'm gunna cry.

Woot

2005-05-01T21:39:42Z

Yay! I have a second job! I went for an interview today. Its another child care job, but just for one family. The lady has two older boys and a little baby (who is very cute!). I guess she's pretty much a stay at home mom, but she does personal training from her house. So she needs a mother's helper type person to help with the kids, help with a few household chores, and maybe run a couple errands. The kids all seem well-behaved and easy to handle (even the baby). And they have a really nice house! The ad she put up on the NAU job board said $8-10 DOE, but she was asking how much I make at my current job ($7) so I might not be getting that much. =( I'll probably talk to her about it. Anyway, what's really nice is she'll kinda use me as much or as little as I need, so I'll get plenty of hours. (It didn't seem like I was going to get very many hours over the summer with my current job). She's also going to recommend me to other moms she knows that really need some help. So I'll be working a-lot this summer! Making lots of money. So yay! I start Thursday, but won't really work a whole lot until summer.

In other news, Randi and her bf Mike were up here this weekend so I hanged out with them quite a bit yesterday. That was fun.

Gah, I'm not looking forward to all of the work that must go into the last couple weeks of school. I have to finish my 8-10 page essay today. It's really not due til Thursday, but I'm doing a presentation tomorrow over the topic, so I might as well have it done. I've got a ton of art projects due on Wednesday, but have a couple classes during which to work on them. I need to do a little bit more printing for photo. I have no idea if he's going to make us do a final or not. You never know with that teacher. I got my final group speech done for public speaking, but I think we still have a final. I know I have a final in com, and I should probably also do some extra credit because I've missed some assignments for that class. =/

But after that, its all over! Yay! I'm excited for summer. Even though most of it will be spent working. But at least I don't have to worry about doing homework when I get home. And I'll be making lots of money, so I can afford to go on a couple trips with friends/Zach.

I Don't Care

2005-04-25T01:15:13Z

Bleh. I don't want to work on my speech. To top off the fact that I have to do the speech, its a group speech and on a topic I really don't care about. It has to be an environmental topic. I'm all for saving the environment, but I really don't care to do a speech on it.

Anywayz, I got my hair cut short again. Parts of it are even shorter than it was last year when I cut it. The back is longer though. I think I like it. It actually looks good curly, sorta. So I might just let it go curly sometimes. I will have to take some pictures. Its definately...different. It'll be nice for summer. If it ever turns to summer here. Its been snowing today. It was warm enough for me to be out at 9 in the morning in short sleeves Saturday morning, but then it cooled off and started storming.

I baby-sat for my boss last night. Most of the time it was just her three boys and the girl, emily, was at a b-day party. The boys were great and it was kinda fun. But then Emily came home from the party with THE WORST attitude problem! She wouldn't listen to anything I said and kept screaming at me or her brothers. When she wouldn't listen and go to bed, I carried her up there and she started hitting me and making her annoying screeching noise. I tried a bunch of different things with her, and evetually completely ignoring her worked. I just passed right by her when she stood in the middle of the hall pouting. She put herself to bed. Haha. I kept threatening to call her mom, but I really didn;t want to cuz she was in a movie. So I just told her when she got home. But I got 50 bucks out of it. Twas much needed.

Oh, why must tomorrow be Monday?

LLAMA SONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-04-19T20:48:41Z

OMG!!!!!!

I have been laughing my ass off at this for the past ten minutes.
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php

Go listen to the llama song!

hehehe

2005-04-15T14:23:33Z

Hehehe, we have this awesome tribal music radio station (Ok, its actually the Navajo music station) but its all drums and fun vocals. Zach and I discovered this while waiting for a tow truck the other night when his car died. There's always an up to every down.

...

2005-04-15T05:24:33Z

I just realized...I write a-lot. Everybody else seems to have short entries. Mine always end up as novels. And its not like their about anything important. Most of them are just about my boringness. Why the hell do you people respond to anything I write? Eh, I guess I do this more for my own sake. Both to cure boredom and create a record of my life. I should post my rant on bras. At least thats not daily life stuff.

No work, No Penises Allowed Night, My Babies

2005-04-15T05:22:25Z

Well, the good news is, I don't have to work tomorrow because some kids aren't coming. Bad news, that's less money for me. But my boss is gunna let me make up those hours next week. Still gotta pick up my paycheck so I have money for this weekend. I paid for my parking ticket today, so there's not much money left in my account. It was nice looking and seeing almmost $200 in there. Oh well. I have to pay car registration soon too. But my dad's helping me out with that, as much as I wanted to take care of it myself. It turned out to be $100 more than I thought it would be though.

Anywayz, no work means I get to leave for Chandler earlier. That's more girl time! Yay! I'm so excited for the no penises allowed night. We all need it so bad. Doesn't look like I'll be giving a ride to anybody though. I was hoping someone would need a driver down to Phoenix so we could split gas. Its too damn expensive! RaWr!

I'm such a sucker for kids, especially my boy Jake at work. (He's about 18 months or so). He came over to me and said "uppy" and held out his hands (which is irresistable in itself) and I told him I'd be right back and went to do something. The lil guy started crying! Awwww. I can't resist my lil cutie when he cries! He's such a cuddlebug. Shannon, my co-worker, will tell him to go play, but I'm like, no, come here, I'll love you! Hehe. He's so cute. I've gotta get a pic of him. Maybe I'll go visit my Lexi while I'm down in Chandler. Last time she ignored me cuz her grandma was there to get her. I need to visit my baby Elyas at Rockhouse too. He's prolly so big by now! Getting close to one I think. Man, I have a ton of kids, lol. A trail of them from all the places I've worked. I should find/take some pics. Its kinda scary...if I'm this attached to other people's kids, I can't imagine how I'll be with my own. Well, yes, I do. They don't need to go to college. They can live at home for their whole lives! And if they want to leave, well, there's always locks and barred windows for that. >=P

Hmm...its kinda weird hearing Korean in the background. Zach is playing some video game.

I've been into iced tea lately. I go through weird phases like that. I swear, I'm like a friggin pregnant woman. I can't imagine what I'll be like when I'm actually pregnant if I'm like this normally. I feel sorry for my husband. Well, I guess if that person turns out to be Zach, he already knows what he's getting into. He's sort-of used to my random "I need ice cream" things. I went to at least 6 different places in search of a certain type of candy canes right before Christmas and eventually had to settle on a different kind. (Only to go down to Chandler and find them in a grocery store when I wasn't even looking for them).

lalala

2005-04-12T03:21:07Z

Yay! Zach got the job at Hollywood! No more worrying. I'm so happy for him. He wanted it so bad.

I'm going down to Chandler this weekend and having a girls night with a no penises allowed policy. I'm so excited. I need to spend time with my wives. And I want to catch up with Randi. I can never stay mad at her. How do some people do that? Well, I was never really MAD at Randi, just annoyed by certain things. But trying to be mad at people when you want to forgive them is just pointless.

I rediscovered my perfect circle cd. A bunch of my cds disappeared for a while and turned up in zach's car. Some of them scratched up, including my one from spain which never used to skip! RAWR. He's lucky I love him. I can't exactly replace that easily. Anyway, yes, I've been listening to perfect circle a-lot lately. And Kidneythieves, which also disappeared into Zach's car. I need to get my mp3 player working. For some reason the charger doesn't want to work and I also don't know where the software is. I need some new music.

I freak myself out sometimes. Why does my good writing always involve dark topics? I wrote this lil short story bout rape (not based on any personal experience of course) and I personally think it turned out well. I used to worry my mom cuz most of my poetry was about sad things. Why are happy things so much harder to write about?

Anywayz, enough blabber. I'm out.

monkeys

2005-04-10T19:15:24Z

You know, its really weird to look back at where I was a year or two ago. I was reading old journal entries in another online journal, and its weird how just about 2 years ago I was a mess, completely convinced my senior year was going to majorly suck and had no clue what I wanted to do with my life after high school. If you had told me then that I would have an awesome senior year, go to prom with my *boyfriend*, decide to go to NAU and *live* with that same boyfriend, I probably would have offered to give you a ride to the nearest psychiatrist. Its weird how things turn out. And it makes me wonder where I'll be a few years from now. We change so much all the time but rarely notice it until we look back and see what we've become.

Sorry, random thoughts.